I used to have a theory of good and bad years alternating, but this has got skewed over the years. Last year was a roller-coaster which crashed at the end and this year has been rebuilding myself.
The overseas holiday was a personal disaster from a relationship point of view, so much for the kiss at the Taj, instead it was walking around seething from being dumped the night before and the bloody thing being invisible in fog till we had to leave almost. To be at one of the most romantic monuments heartbroken is shitty, to get there on shitty bus leaving at 6am leaving the bladder to almost burst only being relieved by the old roadside dash amidst roadside carnage is worse.
I returned home to have my work life fall apart spectacularly- due to stresses of being hosed over financially by the kids dad leading up to xmas, whilst he did a disappearing act and pointless added stress of dating a narcissist. One can only take so much.
Now how do I rebuild myself?...well still pondering that... I did do some therapy with the last session having homework which stalled me. I did use my windfall to buy tickets to 3 gigs to have something to look forward to and I began my first painting for arts sake since uni - well I did practice portraits and commercial work but not a creative painting. a lovely friend of mine has been a huge help in the last six months, since we can talk nonsense for hours, makes me laugh and is skilled in other areas, that being said certain habits makes me want to headbutt him sometimes.
I should be looking for work, but the playing mum and finding myself again and poor sleep patterns seem to have my life very full. One step at a time as they say.
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